Thursday, 16 July 2009

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - FILM REVIEW TYPE THING

Beware Spoilers, if you haven't read or seen
'Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince' yet.

Well - after attempting and failing to get robes ready in time,
and deciding that be-buttoned trousers, black shirt,
and my long black billowy coat would do,
I walked into town yesterday to go and
see the local premiering of the film of
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

I tried to do my makeup as well as I could,
but being a bit flustered I didn't improve my light levels
and so I might have looked terrible.

I use an Olive Oil extraction of Balsamic Poplar Oil,
with a tadge of Patchouli Oil.
This batch has Brandy flavouring too,
to add to the interesting scent.

Talking of scent, I used Gillette 'Storm-Force'
anti-perspirant de-odourant spray, a cheap
knock-off imitation of the 'Opium' perfume,
and a splash of 'Denim' after-shave.

The day-lit photo's (Yes, an abbreviating apostrophe!)
flared out a bit, my mobile 'phone (Ha-hah! Another one!)
camera is not as good as I would like it to be.

Yes, even though it would be hidden by the shirt and coat's
sleeves, I did draw a Dark Mark upon my arm,
to help me get in Character...

Anyway, I had gone no more than 200 yards from my home
when some charming person shrieked "WEIRDO!!!" at me,
at the top of their voice, followed by some quieter comments
along the lines of "Fucking Emo Freak". Wonderful.

I jumped at the sudden yelling, but was mildly amused,
as I am a Goth, not an 'Emo', and some folks just can't
tell the differences.

I mused;
"I look a lot like this all the time...
I wonder how often Severus suffered this...
Let's take another 'photo!"

So I bimbled to town, at top-bimbling-speed.
I got to the cinema with half an hour to wait.
I cried to the heavens; "I've been waiting a year!"
I met one other person in costume,
I said to her;
"It's lucky you're a Ravenclaw,
as I largely ignore them."

She explained that she was actually supposed to be Hermione,
but had not been able to acquire a Gold or Red edged Robe.

I paced, and loomed, and lurked, what a poser I am...
I waited...
We filed into the Cinematic Auditorium,
my seat was at the centre of the front row.

Odeon cinemas have had the bright idea of placing
cup-holders in the single arm-rests.
This means if your neighbours have drinks,
you have no arm-rests.

>>> >>> >>>
On to the utterly in-expert film review...
They changed the way things happened,
and the way things happened at crucial points
were some of the most outstanding parts of the story,
or contained little gem-like scenes
that were lost to the film's re-writing.

They altered and/or removed some of
the best and most essential dialogue.

I was particularly upset at the way
Snape's Angry Moments had been
re-worked as apathetic maudlin quietude.

They cut my favourite part -

This film's Snape is not Snape as he is in the book.
Book-Snape is far, far angrier, especially when
Draco is Slashed, and when arguing with Albus,
and later when fighting Harry.

I also feel Book-Snape is a bit puffed-up
with getting the Defence Against the Dark Arts
position, which he *has* always wanted.
I expect the pay is better too...

He should have been showing much more emotion,
I can accept the stony cold blankness
when he is among the Death Eaters,
but amongst normal people,
though he'd rather it were not so,
he is a very emotional creature.
He can't maintain acting the
Hairy-Heart all his life, it's bad enough
having to do it when with The Dark Lord's Family...

In the book Draco does not show his Dark Mark,
he simply makes a verbal claim to have recieved it.
I liked that ambiguity, it was lost in the film.

The film is quite stunning, visually.
I particularly enjoyed the
swift swooping spiralling
of the Death Eaters' flight.

Severus is still beautiful,
though his hair was not greasy enough.

Slughorn came across as a
wee bit slimier, in the Book, to me.
Film-Slughorn was almost likeable.

Shall we shut Harry, Ron, Hermione,
Lavender and Romilda in a room
and see what happens?
*Mad cackle*

If you go to see it, STAY UNTIL
the last piece of music
is a beautiful Choral piece.

I enjoyed it, but it was also a disappointment,
it has SERIOUS canon-compliancy issues.
It's an Alternate Universe version, perhaps...

Some of the things in the film that were
never in the book are quite entertaining.

Some are simply baffling,
as to why they changed it.

When I emerged from the cinematic womb
I discovered the Paps of Palleted
Popcorn Packets in the foyer.
Fabulous. I fondled them.
Hand-porn Hand-porn!

"Oooo glorious popcorn mountain...! Ooooo!"
Being mad can be quite fun.
I was awfully tired out after walking back home.
Seeing Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince,
then watching the last episode of
'Torchwood : Children of Earth'
whilst drinking poppy tea,
then going to bed and being woken up at 4am
to be told I'd piled all the quilt on my other half,
it made me have a bizarre nightmare
about being pursued by highly persistent
and frightening pseudo-Pagan evil-adoring
creepy people who looked like perfectly
ordinary randomly-selected Pagan people.

It's the second dream I've had like that.
Hmmmph. I must pick my friends with care, always.

Severus's hand-writing is as lovely as his hands...
~ Morgan
Other parts of my dream;
I expect trying to get a caravan up and down
my parents' home's stairs was simply poppies
doing what poppies do. I saw an amazing large
spiky fish in the Avon under Fisherton Street Bridge
in my dream. I took a 'photo of it, in my dream.
Pity it's not there now that I'm awake!

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