"ForEver-Home"

Dreamt your heart

was my For-Ever Home,

had a place in your affections, 

meant much to me, much more to me,

you just had occasional erections,

and erratic directions, 

for an obedient pet, 

that eventually 

you left outside.

"Back Where We First Met"

Would you speak to me,

if I dared tell you... I still feel? 

Things you wished silent 

still whimper. 

No sunshine-warm cuddles, 

no mistletoe kisses, 

nothing, nothing, nothing, 

for you, hello is enough. 

No dread of rejection, 

we solved that riddle, 

but dread of desire, 

and dread of your indifference.

"Covenant"

I remember the details,

crystal-clear, of our contract, 

and I remember, razor-sharp, 

each moment, day and night. 

I grovelled for scraps from 

the plate at your table, 

dry crumbs and crusts 

a banquet to the 

beggar-woman, starved.

Fool, she is, 

weeding her garden, 

hoping next spring, 

for lilies to grow. 

Lurgy/Dear Diary...

Almost better, now - chest infection clearing; this is good.

I guess, if I can't spend an eternity writing to Old LO, I'd better start blogging a lot more. Sometimes it's easy, but other days... Maybe it's an Autie thing, but some days, finding ANY words is difficult. Finding the right words is a work for the good days ~ on the bad days, an approximation will just have to do.

Sick as a Parrot.

I've got a really nasty chest infection...

I feel absolutely lousy.

 

I'm stressing over having misplaced a software disc,

and I'm having trouble thinking at all.

Actually DOING things? Hahahaha!

 

My temp. on Sat. night was 38.8C,

and I had the uncontrollable violent shakes.

Mon. night it was somewhere over 39.3C

(The electronic thermometer just says 'Hi'(gh) after that),

and I felt *better* then, than when it was 38.8?

Weird.

 

Pass me the Leper-Bell, will you?

Thanks.

 

*tinkles*

"Cups"

I know of a Hoarde,
laid out in the sunshine,
in a vast marsh, in mist-rush
and bird-waden wandering;

I know of this Marsh-Mass,
laid out in the sun,
shining and blinding,
seekers to find ~

Wet ragmen and jugglers
all gaze from the pathways,
logs lain over
the grasp of the mud ~

no boatmen amongst them?
No great Corrach sailor?
Just watch the
light flicker, distanced.

My blood boils
with fire, the shaft,
the Sun spears me,
each droplet blazes

in glory, gold on gold,
silver in silver,
Let me tell of the powers
of these patens and cups...

I know of a Hoarde,
lain out, set by moonlight,
a supper for spirit
and succour by what you sup,

a treasure unheeded,
though forever it's needed,
each comes forth in
the night with sheets wide.

recieve recieve,
not driven by grief,
but recieve, recieve
the free flowing river,

bare branches, writhe, Willows,
stark seeing of truths needing,
a touch of the lips
seals silence, not deceit.

Simple symbols, I was buried in,
to speak in allegory,
you know the truth
behind the words,

and all men become Sailors,
to tread their path towards me,
I am the end of
the rainbow, shot from the sea.

Step onto the Bridge,
search behind all the stars,
Step into the breach,
cowardice take flight,

and bravery come forward,
to speak each mortal piece,
or die whining, cowering,
afraid to raise your eyes -

how would
you have it?

You are the One
that knows your mind -

be your own friend,
your own rock,
your own fool and
your own guide.
~~~~~~~~
I speak of a Bronze blade,
and a hilt of carved amber,
a goblet of silver,
knobbed about by pretty pearls,

I murmur and whisper
over oatcakes, Beloved,
and bless the Barley,
good fishing, good hunting,

take the dagger to Chapel,
the dish proffered will
take the world,
gives forth worlds - !

Strike out with your staff,
magic wanderer, marsh wonderer,
dance in the shallows
and swim for your life -

take the cup, take the cup,
sieze the sword firmly
and stab me to own me,

break the pearls from me,
flake all the gilt from me,
let pure water flow
instead of ill blood.

My humour is manifold,
like shepherded perfection -
a meadow is made by
wise sight of the flood -

just a gate here, a dyke there,
make the wilderness perfect,
but whose design
do you work to, my love?

Whine!

Last night/this morn, we had to format my laptop.

 

Due to my lassitude regarding backups,

which should be as routine as menstruating,

I have lost a lot of data. I am trying to be happy

that I've lost many photographs of Old Limerent Object.

They were very, very pretty, but bad for my health.

I'd not looked at them for a long while, but, still...

They took a long time to collect.

I knew I should have got another USB mem. stick, just for them...

Never mind, it's not like they're wedding-photos...

Just a pathetic creepy collection. So pretty...

 

*sigh*

Rest In Peace, Holly.

Holly died Friday Morning,
the 9th September, 2011,
at home, in her sleep.
Buried today, 23rd Sept. 2011.

 Holly Williams ~ Funeral Poem
 by Morgan Fyfe-Williams,
 16th Sept. 2011.

Pfft...

Emotions more settled these days, still haunted by fantasies, whose only worth is as art, inspiration, poetry... I've tried taking a notebook to bed, to write the words that come to me as I drift toward sleep, but... I tend to drift into sleep without writing anything down. I guess bothering to write these things is the first step in commitment to earning a few Bardic stripes.

I rarely write with standard rhyme, and to the beat of my different drum...

Future Updates =)

Soon, I'm going to be adding some extra stand-alone pages to my blog.

Mythologies of My Past - The odd little tale of how I almost convinced myself that I was an alien... Not such an unusual belief amongst Asperger's kids... I 'was' a Dragon. Looooong story, which I'll share.

Little Whinging - My page for my grumbles about everything from never being able to find a spoon, to the corruption of the powerful, to philosophising about life itself being naturally an unfair game...

Favourite Prayers - things that help me see the good in good, and gently guide by the lights I see.

Funny Things - Humour and anecdotes. Eris might come into it, with her wiffle-stick.

Magic, Religion & Spiritual Guff-n-Stuff - All my mystic waffle in one big glob?

My Artwork - Pieces from the past, and future... Laying out plans as I go - Portfolio mixed with Notebook.

Crazy How? - About my mental health...

The 1005 Project - An ill-concieved bastard child of an infatuation... A poetic and artistic magnus opus in the making ;)

Links - to sites I find useful and/or interesting, or simply amusing.

About Morgan - A bit about myself, and links to my other web-presences, ie; Facebook...

x M

Welcome

This is a post for the benefit of Facebook Networked Blogs application.
If you are a human being, please continue browsing my blog.

Three Holes In The Ground!

Well, well, well...

Turns out my beloved friend Z is the victim of slander, and I'm too darn gullible. Thank goodness I and Z were able to sort it out.

-

Limerence recovery progress is good - it had been retarded by encounters with the chappie at the eye of this teacup shitstorm. Found this blog - Falling in Limerence.

Biology is a bitch enough - dodgy psychology too makes it all even messier. =/

-

Kitty is curled up with a David Eddings book. =)

"Fragments"

"Fragments"

As I lay me down to sleep,
I cling to dreams that I keep ~
poison-pot boiler, coney stew
and bitterness weeping ~
better rid of this compulsion
steeping my life
in worry and strife,
trouble breweth as the storm?

Erratic Emotions, Mad World...

10/7/11 All's Well With Z. Excuse the language, I'm a wee bit ticked off! So... I've been banned from the Londis 'for being a weirdo', I've had the bad news that someone I thought was one of my very best friends has been laughing at me for months, and I've dyed my hair Raspberry colour, had a tattoo, and helped a mate get her throat checked out at the hospital.

Limerence

---

LIMERENCE : "A POWERFULLY DISTRACTING INFATUATION"

Tweaked me Blog.

I'm now using the 'jump' / read more link. Wahey.

Kitteh says hi. =)

Fulfilling a Request

I have been asked to post a picture of my wand,
now that I have finished making it.

First thoughts for Piece for Spring Equinox at Stonehenge (2011)

First thoughts for Piece for Spring Equinox at Stonehenge (2011)

Beloved Ones,
Here and Now

"Did I Tell You About His Eyes?"

Did I Tell You
About His Eyes?
That would Sparkle,
and Wickedly Shine?

Or of his mouth,
twisting, smiling?

Wry as a Raven,
Holds Court by his Lord's side,
Proud-Standing Drummer,
I was In Stead of your Lady,
our last Beer-Goggling Night.

Did I Tell You About His Hands?
Or the hairs upon his thighs?

Violet Prose for an Indigo Man,
Ink Black and Shining,
Dark Chocolate Iris,
Anthracite Lily,
Dearest of Friends.

Did I Tell You About His Eyes?
They once sparkled with blessings divine.
How did I think this man was mine?...

?

...Let Me Tell You About His Eyes...

Looking Back With New Eyes

I've just been re-reading posts from my other Blog,

the one that was a secret, and isn't online any more -

"Sometimes"

Sometimes imaginings felt like real memory,
sometimes, the other way round...
Sometimes I felt certainty, my heart would leap and pound -
Then cynical, twisting paranoia would fall,
terror would reign once more,
and my castle, my home of hope's dreaming
just stones... Empty, standing...

Half a year seems like a fortnight or less,
near a month feels a thousand years -
what magic, over my memory,
to stand again outside of time?
One night, so perfect,
so perfectly decieved by myself -
You'll never remember what only I knew,
and I'll never remember your memories
for you.

'Should have known better',
we've both cried,
Indeed, we should, for we do...
All I know is, our faults
are near equal...
Darkly private Musings
still arouse the fire in me -
an Idiot, or an Artist,
to dream of what cannot be...?

"Dancing with Shadows"

In the Silence of the Perfect Dream
Roared Music, Cried Salvation and Patience,

Heartache Died - No Pain or Hurt or Sorrow,

in the perfect dream, where all good judgement
divided and divided and broke and tore and sundered

the paths builded from good intentions
led my feet so true
through gateways unimaginable,

swam down to depths unfathomable -
aching inside, burning for the next breath...

Crash, waves, crash above me, I heed you not,
in the still warm darkness of my dream -
consuming all, imaginary, addiction in my mind alone

my heart? Withering?

Peering through my underworld,
no explanations are forthcoming -
no demon can tell you why you made the call.

Wanting and wanting and wanting and needing,
fearing and dreaming on, knowing death is coming,
by your own invitation, the slow slip into for-ever-hood,

fed by false faeries, kept by gossamer chains
'round breast and brow...

Such horror at one's own deeds,
the bitterest awareness of the devil-side of one's nature -
Can't people see I am not this? Can't I see I am not this?

Scream again, immortal soul,
at these things we've come to have done...

I became so truly monst'rous,
and wished an angel to step down to smite me...

I craved the company of a fellowship in sin,
I craved everything...

Peace would be in not wanting,
freedom in not-to-need.

I thought I danced
with shadows.

MF-W 12/Jan/2011