...Blah blah blah...

It goes on - more reasons to write quickly, even if everybody reads it, it helps me tell myself the truth - unedited by my lying mind, I can say what I think - Oh, freedom! Freedom from the Scold's Bridle!
When I write swiftly, and therefore nearly completely freely, I don't hide from myself the same things that I do in more caretaken accounting. Truer is better, even if it hurts.

Two minutes I popped away from my keyboard, the teeming thoughts that were there have vanished like mist.

One of my issues is my desire for perfection, I must understand all is perfect as-is, or nothing is perfect, and it doesn't matter - just What Is is what matters, and that'll Be, no matter what I or anyone else thinks of it.

Humankind sets itself up for its own pitfalls - attaining Buddha Mind, is it an ideal state? Before and after, chop wood, carry water, do the washing up...

Dreaming of perfection wastes the time I could be using to make the best of all I'm given...

I don't know how many people would appreciate my poetry, when it never knows if it's poem, song, or prose... But if the experience is beneficial, or even something enjoyable, well, that's nice...

...ad nauseum...

GIZZARDS! Where the half-digested sits - Oh, yes... My Self has more than one gizzard! Collections within me of things I don't understand, but keep churning over. Watch the Lunatics closely, they might do something amusing...

Muddles

Feeling sick, all the way through - want to write and write until everything's said - Scared of exposing my heart to the public - scared of ridicule for the risible efforts...

Healing.

I'm glad to be able to say, I'm getting better...

Friends.

I revise the previous post - my good friends will be kind, and not speak of it.
I will miss the good friends I have lost, value the ones I have kept.

I wish we could all get along.

Fear.

I am not going to say anything more about,

or have anything to do with the crazy situation

some of my friends are in.

"Spirals"

Spirals

How long will it go round my mind -
Search here and there,
and not find...

Empty rooms hold no promises
and no lies.
No deception in innocent silence,
No silent tears seen in turned-away eyes.

Always was I looking
In places too high to reach,
Stars unseen, too far in the Heavens,
While I'm lost in the grains on the Beach.

Waves come washing,
uncounted, Seasons pass, and go,
like Butterflies kissing one's shoulders...
Summer's Flight of Pure Fancy
Seems All Lifetimes' Love of the Soul.

7th August 2010

"Idols"

Your Idols and Mine
Are not unalike,

One Rises Up
and the other Hangs
Down, and are but
Ends of one Thing,
Kether and Jether,
Is any part of the River's Path
More Holy than Another?

08/06/10

"The Faeries of The Wood"

The Faeries of The Wood (writ in 1999?)

Shimmering golden dappled greens
light falling leaves shifting
eyes watching forest far away

"ThunderStones"

"ThunderStones"


Like the Air after Thunder,
Of Power Greatly Spent,
The Stones Lie Still, ReFilling,
A New Earthing Consequent.

"Unseelie" / "Spirit Call" / "Seelie Faerie Evocation"

Three works, I wrote these during an
'I can't be arsed to punctuate' phase. My apologies.
These are all from around 1999.

 

_ UnSeelie _

i asked the one
with eyes of gold
i asked the moon
and stars and sun
and she tore me down

"Shafts of SunLight"

Another one from 1999ish,
when I was too insane to punctuate.

_Shafts of SunLight_

i see them falling
through the cave's mouth
visible by mistlight
wet under the river
where it crashes
and bubbles.

"Semi-Consciousness"

Semi-Consciousness ~
On my horizons
A bleak storm
Brings cold winds to
Rattle me.

"Involution/Evolution"

I Am Awen and Kether
and Prana and Ether
Flowing into Life
I am Light flooding the sky
I am the Dawn
and the path to the dusk
Ever to rise again.

"Soween Song"

Soween Song

Hidden in The Earth,
Next Harvest's Birth,
The Sun Falls Low,
For Next Spring to Grow.

"Dragon's Wine"

- Dragon's Wine -

An Addict in the Dark, I Wait.
His Move, His Act, it Seals my Fate,
Powerless against Him, Unable to Resist -
A Fantasy Exquisitely Permitted to Exist.
Will my Lover come before DayBreak -
Will I Remember when I Wake?

"Sixty-Nine Beers"

Sixty-Nine Beers

Is that the best
price for you?
To make you lose
your attitude
of just-don't-give
a damn?

"Your Eyes Bewitched Me"

Your Eyes Bewitched me,
Unwittingly, watched me
in mundane and
meaningless insanity.
I thought I might
have been in love with you -
nothing at all like the truth.

All my lusts and passions unrequited,
mourning for never-beens,
Victim of transferences,
my Madness-Adoration,
Beautiful One,
I am a fool.
You never wished for this,
and it was never intended,
yet from First Intentions
you cleansed my Wounds and Soul.
My obsessions have gone
from one thing to another,
I thank all my Gods that I
have known you,
had your Poet's Sword
cut the poisons from my heart.
I Love You - My Friend.
May That Never End.

Your smile seduced me,
irrevocably, accidentally.
I've always been prone
to giving myself over to dreams.
The sorrows were deep and genuine,
and every moment of glorious joy.
You kept me safe in your caring,
I'd have died to be in your arms.
I can explain so little,
could have given you nothing at all
except more pain.
In this brief thunderbright
time that I've known you
my best and worst was laid at your feet,
where I never should have been.
Infatuation is an ugly word
for what I have felt.

Tenth June 2010

"Always"

"Always"

I'll never stop calling you Darling,

no matter the distance between

us, or what perhaps might have been,

and this thing called reality,

just a shared daydream,

my friend, nothing more.