Wednesday, 12 January 2011

"Dancing with Shadows"

In the Silence of the Perfect Dream
Roared Music, Cried Salvation and Patience,

Heartache Died - No Pain or Hurt or Sorrow,

in the perfect dream, where all good judgement
divided and divided and broke and tore and sundered

the paths builded from good intentions
led my feet so true
through gateways unimaginable,

swam down to depths unfathomable -
aching inside, burning for the next breath...

Crash, waves, crash above me, I heed you not,
in the still warm darkness of my dream -
consuming all, imaginary, addiction in my mind alone

my heart? Withering?

Peering through my underworld,
no explanations are forthcoming -
no demon can tell you why you made the call.

Wanting and wanting and wanting and needing,
fearing and dreaming on, knowing death is coming,
by your own invitation, the slow slip into for-ever-hood,

fed by false faeries, kept by gossamer chains
'round breast and brow...

Such horror at one's own deeds,
the bitterest awareness of the devil-side of one's nature -
Can't people see I am not this? Can't I see I am not this?

Scream again, immortal soul,
at these things we've come to have done...

I became so truly monst'rous,
and wished an angel to step down to smite me...

I craved the company of a fellowship in sin,
I craved everything...

Peace would be in not wanting,
freedom in not-to-need.

I thought I danced
with shadows.

MF-W 12/Jan/2011

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